Date: 8/26/2010
Number of Texts: 4
Jimmy: I think ima get body hair removal im tryn to do like ten visits ima start off with five, basketball players do it celebrities i bet even most rappers get it, ima even go out on a limb and say gym teachers get it cause i know if i say celebrities rappers and athletes u gonna say cause they got the money to or cause they famous, i know u chris i know u.. what because im a normal guy i cant get it too their allowed to feel comfortable about theyself but i cant.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Bitches is Snitches and David Stern Wants to Act Like a Jew
Date: 8/22/2010
Number of Texts: Sent as an MMS
Jimmy: Whats crackin son?.. jus read on nba.com that miami mite still b interested in iverson they was sayin if he went he would b put at the fourth option over arroyo and chalmers to me a player taking a lesser role doesnt mean being a sixth man thats just me though i dont think that, it mean taking less money less shots less playing time thats all two of those things he jus did last year he scored less and he played for less than the vet minimum.. yeah iverson would only take thirteen or fourteen shots instead of as many as he took five years ago hed b mainlya passer slasher and play the passing lanes but im cool with that thats his style anyway other than the amount of shots he would b taking thats iversons style of play jus because he dont average fifteen assist for his career like bum nash that dont mean he cant put up those type of numbers he put up sixteen assist against vince carter back when he played for toronto in that game seven of the ecf.. its a known fact that iverson plays better when hes on a team with allstars other than the olympics which wasnt iversons fault why they lost his assist actually went up u gota remember they didnt have kg or shaq the two best big men at that time some of the top players in the nba refused to play in a international country cause of that terrorist thing iverson said i dont give a fuck where its at im going anyway.. watch every allstar game iverson was in he was hookin mugs up assist after asist nobody thats ever been a part of the allstar game ever talked trash or hated iverson they love him n the allstar games david stern jus wants to act like a jew and he want everbody in the nba to act like one too even if it means siding with him on a issue that they dont got a problem with like allen iverson.. combo guards like iverson for the record arent suppose to b post up defenders they play strictly the passing lanes that aint what they know for, jus ask rondo.. denver nuggets never hated iverson his contract was up with them why people say iverson got cut from the team ill never understand his contract was up and detroit and memphis really did lie to him about his roles on both those teams cause ive looked at diffrent articles online and they both cheated him that aint my opinion thats jus the facts..the whole practice thing theres football players that dont like to practice some dont Tiki barber quit practice u never hear bout how he refused to practice.. guess what else i found out back n otwo when they said he drug his wife out the house naked that was false they interviewed her on philadelphiaweekly.com and she denied it bitches is snitches thats how u know she aint kying about what happened she woulda snitched that story was made up the reason his wife left him recently was cause the going got tuff and their daughter got sick and iverson wasnt bringn in no bread cause his kid is more important.. richard hamilton even came out and said michael curry was a liar too it wasnt only iverson that curry he lied to him and iverson both about their roles on the team.. when joe dumars signed iverson a reporter brought up the wantin to practice question and joe dumars and iverson both laughed about it as a matter of fact everyone in the room laughed about it shruggin that whole thing off even reporters so how could they be mad at him this whole time if they thought that whole bit was funny?.. hes got some teams lookn at him new york, charlotte, new jersey, miami and cleveland. Well see what happens allz i know is if he comes back in shape and playn for the heat as the fourth option, get ya popcorn ready. I know deep down u still an allen iverson fan chris u dont gota hide it from me, its cool man.
Number of Texts: Sent as an MMS
Jimmy: Whats crackin son?.. jus read on nba.com that miami mite still b interested in iverson they was sayin if he went he would b put at the fourth option over arroyo and chalmers to me a player taking a lesser role doesnt mean being a sixth man thats just me though i dont think that, it mean taking less money less shots less playing time thats all two of those things he jus did last year he scored less and he played for less than the vet minimum.. yeah iverson would only take thirteen or fourteen shots instead of as many as he took five years ago hed b mainlya passer slasher and play the passing lanes but im cool with that thats his style anyway other than the amount of shots he would b taking thats iversons style of play jus because he dont average fifteen assist for his career like bum nash that dont mean he cant put up those type of numbers he put up sixteen assist against vince carter back when he played for toronto in that game seven of the ecf.. its a known fact that iverson plays better when hes on a team with allstars other than the olympics which wasnt iversons fault why they lost his assist actually went up u gota remember they didnt have kg or shaq the two best big men at that time some of the top players in the nba refused to play in a international country cause of that terrorist thing iverson said i dont give a fuck where its at im going anyway.. watch every allstar game iverson was in he was hookin mugs up assist after asist nobody thats ever been a part of the allstar game ever talked trash or hated iverson they love him n the allstar games david stern jus wants to act like a jew and he want everbody in the nba to act like one too even if it means siding with him on a issue that they dont got a problem with like allen iverson.. combo guards like iverson for the record arent suppose to b post up defenders they play strictly the passing lanes that aint what they know for, jus ask rondo.. denver nuggets never hated iverson his contract was up with them why people say iverson got cut from the team ill never understand his contract was up and detroit and memphis really did lie to him about his roles on both those teams cause ive looked at diffrent articles online and they both cheated him that aint my opinion thats jus the facts..the whole practice thing theres football players that dont like to practice some dont Tiki barber quit practice u never hear bout how he refused to practice.. guess what else i found out back n otwo when they said he drug his wife out the house naked that was false they interviewed her on philadelphiaweekly.com and she denied it bitches is snitches thats how u know she aint kying about what happened she woulda snitched that story was made up the reason his wife left him recently was cause the going got tuff and their daughter got sick and iverson wasnt bringn in no bread cause his kid is more important.. richard hamilton even came out and said michael curry was a liar too it wasnt only iverson that curry he lied to him and iverson both about their roles on the team.. when joe dumars signed iverson a reporter brought up the wantin to practice question and joe dumars and iverson both laughed about it as a matter of fact everyone in the room laughed about it shruggin that whole thing off even reporters so how could they be mad at him this whole time if they thought that whole bit was funny?.. hes got some teams lookn at him new york, charlotte, new jersey, miami and cleveland. Well see what happens allz i know is if he comes back in shape and playn for the heat as the fourth option, get ya popcorn ready. I know deep down u still an allen iverson fan chris u dont gota hide it from me, its cool man.
Chicken Tenders > Filet Mignon
This post requires a back story. In the many years that I've known Jimmy I've seen him eat very few things. In fact the only five I can think of are chicken tenders, a burger, a cheesesteak, pizza, and a burrito with only meat and rice. So this weekend Jimmy went with myself and a couple other people to Morton's Steak House for Restaurant Week. The Restaurant Week menu included a salad, choice of an 8 oz filet, chicken Christopher (whatever that is), or grilled salmon. After the waiter explains all of the specials and lets us look at the menu he comes to take our order. We all ordered the filet - then the waiter got to Jimmy. Jimmy asked the waiter "Do you guys have chicken tenders?" The waiter looked at him with the most confused face I've seen in years and said "chicken... what?" Jimmy then went on to SETTLE for the filet by saying "Oh well I guess steak is fine." He also got his filet butterflied and cooked medium-well and didn't finish it. He also claims his mother and Outback Steak House make better steak. Here were the post-meal texts.
Date: 8/21/2010
Number of Texts: 5
Jimmy: That food wasnt bad but i aint think it was all that either, u owe me a hispanic chick that acts like a black chick for taking me there my body feels like the after affects of the holocaust and i dont even know what that felt like it feels like i got hit with an arrow, it feels like ive been poisoned by my wife like how them women on the lifetime channel do.
Date: 8/21/2010
Number of Texts: 5
Jimmy: That food wasnt bad but i aint think it was all that either, u owe me a hispanic chick that acts like a black chick for taking me there my body feels like the after affects of the holocaust and i dont even know what that felt like it feels like i got hit with an arrow, it feels like ive been poisoned by my wife like how them women on the lifetime channel do.
6 minutes passed between texts
Jimmy: Not that i watch that or anything jus i flipped through the channel one day and a woman poisoned some guy i think i was her husband i wasnt sure and i was jus thinkn to myself bitches is crazy and they aint shit
What Jimmy Wants
Date: 8/20/2010
Number of Texts: 3
Jimmy: Yo im tryn to get with a hispanic chick that acts black and does black people shit
Me: Hahaha wtf?
Jimmy: Thats what jimmy wants. U think theres sum out there like that?
Number of Texts: 3
Jimmy: Yo im tryn to get with a hispanic chick that acts black and does black people shit
Me: Hahaha wtf?
Jimmy: Thats what jimmy wants. U think theres sum out there like that?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Toilets/Transplants/Orlando Magic
Date: 8/18/2010
Number of Texts: So much it was sent as an MMS
Jimmy: Yo im bout to install a toilet in my room cause this places is a prison.. my dad keeps sayn weird shit he told me today that im back to my old self now dont know what the fuck that suppose to mean, know people in delray are off the wall to sum extent but how he acts and the shit he says on a day to day basis goes way beyond that.. when they both go to their retirement home or whatever they do ima spen the omney they leave me with on a brain transplant cause i aint tryn to remember a damn thing about my life or anybody that got on my last nerve, im changing my name too im for real bout that he has these weird theories and definitions about being a man etc.. little do he know all his theories and definitions are false and horse shit.. sic of hearing this too, i can remember back when u used to... fuck that shit this aint back them nomore as much as they both would like it to b its twothousandten i dont care how old u are get with the times.. im getn a brain transplant serious talk ive already decided once i get my money thats mine thats what im doing, mite even look into getn a heart transplant too cause ima b older by that time.. yo u hear mello mite b headin to orlando with dwight howard? Hes talkin bout leavin his three year offer from the nuggets on the table and going to orlando, what would us ay if iverson joined and iverson came off the bench it wouldnt even matter to me if he did on the real would it really matter that much if that was iversons role on orlando they would b the team to beat for the nex six mayb seven years Cause you know hes col with jameer nelson he said iverson is who he idols his game after and iverson and mello are good friends, jus sayin.
Number of Texts: So much it was sent as an MMS
Jimmy: Yo im bout to install a toilet in my room cause this places is a prison.. my dad keeps sayn weird shit he told me today that im back to my old self now dont know what the fuck that suppose to mean, know people in delray are off the wall to sum extent but how he acts and the shit he says on a day to day basis goes way beyond that.. when they both go to their retirement home or whatever they do ima spen the omney they leave me with on a brain transplant cause i aint tryn to remember a damn thing about my life or anybody that got on my last nerve, im changing my name too im for real bout that he has these weird theories and definitions about being a man etc.. little do he know all his theories and definitions are false and horse shit.. sic of hearing this too, i can remember back when u used to... fuck that shit this aint back them nomore as much as they both would like it to b its twothousandten i dont care how old u are get with the times.. im getn a brain transplant serious talk ive already decided once i get my money thats mine thats what im doing, mite even look into getn a heart transplant too cause ima b older by that time.. yo u hear mello mite b headin to orlando with dwight howard? Hes talkin bout leavin his three year offer from the nuggets on the table and going to orlando, what would us ay if iverson joined and iverson came off the bench it wouldnt even matter to me if he did on the real would it really matter that much if that was iversons role on orlando they would b the team to beat for the nex six mayb seven years Cause you know hes col with jameer nelson he said iverson is who he idols his game after and iverson and mello are good friends, jus sayin.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
A Goon Affair
Date: 8/3/2010
Number of Texts: 6
Jimmy: Yo u gonna b doin music and artist mgmt rite? Yo im tryn to make my own mixtape how do i go bout doin that shit? Jus figured you know bout that stuff i got an idea for a cover etc.. dont got nothin written down but alredy know what im tryn to talk about. Whats good homie?
Me: All you need is a microphone and some recording software
Jimmy: Basicly wut u sayin is i need ta hit up guitar center
Me: Yeah for the mic but you can get recording software for free online
Jimmy: Strait good lookn out homie. Aight, yo im bout to buy me these two goon chains i found online my mixtape gon b for the goons. Ima be talkn crazy shit u need to get up on a couple tracks wit me we can make this a goon affair
Number of Texts: 6
Jimmy: Yo u gonna b doin music and artist mgmt rite? Yo im tryn to make my own mixtape how do i go bout doin that shit? Jus figured you know bout that stuff i got an idea for a cover etc.. dont got nothin written down but alredy know what im tryn to talk about. Whats good homie?
Me: All you need is a microphone and some recording software
Jimmy: Basicly wut u sayin is i need ta hit up guitar center
Me: Yeah for the mic but you can get recording software for free online
Jimmy: Strait good lookn out homie. Aight, yo im bout to buy me these two goon chains i found online my mixtape gon b for the goons. Ima be talkn crazy shit u need to get up on a couple tracks wit me we can make this a goon affair
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